I cleverly tried to reuse bottle caps by inserting a letter to my husband inside two of them and sealing the whole thing with a Zip tie. I wrote my husband's work address on one side and the stamps on the other. Like a kind of fortune cookie a-la-snail-mail.
Mailing my fortune cookie was going to be a bit of a challenge, I suspected. First of all, unfortunately I couldn't slip it in the mailbox and hope that the mail folks just took care of it, because mailboxes here only have a thin hole to insert a letter and no drawer like in Canada. So I had to take it to the post office along with a soap I was sending to a mommy friend in need of pick-me-up and a book for another friend.
Here is a rundown of the conversation with the teller, translated in English.
-I'd like to send this book to Canada, how much will it cost?
-24R.
-Great. I'll send it. I'd also like to send this.
-What is it?
-A soap.
-A soap?
-Yes, a soap.
-A soap is an object.
-Yes, it is. ( I now have a weird look on my face and the teller turns to her co-worker and yells loudly:
-Soap is an object?
-Yes. It's an object! Her co-worker yells back.
-Okay. It's an object. You have to fill out this form. (She hands me a three page form that reminds me of the days when we had to fill our taxes by hand)
-Okay, I change my mind. I don't want to send the soap. But what about the book? Isn't it an object too? Why don't I need to fill a form for that?
-(insert an incomprehensible fast Portuguese answer here)
-Okay. Fine. I would also like to send this. (I hand her my fortune cookie, bracing myself....)
-What's this?
-It's a letter.
-A letter. Um... let me see.
(She turns to her co-worker and yells loudly again, waving my fortune cookie in front of all the people in line behind me.)
-Is this an object?
-Yes. It's an object. Her co-worker answers again loudly.
-Okay, it's an object. You have to put it in an envelope.
-But the address is already on there with the stamps! (I plead with my eyes working my "just-humor-me-foreigner face")
-No. You have to put it in an envelope.
-But the envelope is the caps.
-No. You have to put it in an envelope.
-Okay then, I say disappointingly. I won't mail it.
-That's 24R.
I pay her and try not to look back at the folks behind me with their "objects" neatly packed in envelopes and their 3 page forms neatly filled out. Yes. I am a foreigner. Move along! There's nothing to see here!
Stay tuned for more adventures at the Post Office!
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